Grief and Sorrow

Monday, February 27, 2006
Crying without tears is the saddest thing

Crying without tears is the saddest thing that can ever happen to a person.

Think about it, during the death of your close ones, you can see so many people crying their hearts out, hugging each other, seeking for comfort. Yet you are the only one without tears. You know that you are sad, you wanna cry, yet tears doesn’t flow out. You have lost your ability to cry at the point in time. The suppression of the feeling is grinding you deep down, from inside the heart, yet insensitive people thought you are just another heartless fellow who doesn’t have feelings for the deceased, reprimanding you straight in the funeral...

Another scenario...

The person you love so deeply, so truly, one day tell you that she had another person in mind, and will not want to have anything to do with you. You know it is not right to try and break them up. Yet, you are feeling so badly inside. The love you had cultivated over the years for that person instantly turned into nothing more than dust. You two may still be friends. Normal friends. But sadness had by then consumed you. You have lost your ability to cry at this point in time, perhaps forever. You have gained a new ability while losing the ability to cry..

“To Laugh”

You laugh at her. You laugh at the world. Yet, the greatest joker of all is none other than you yourself. You are laughing at yourself. You are on the verge of falling apart. You are on the verge of insanity. You are at the verge of losing yourself. Laughing is the only thing you can do. Your mind is empty, it is storing nothing but flashes of memories of you and her. Sad ones, happy ones, all came flashing by your mind.

Your heart is bleeding.

You are in pain.

Tremendous pain.

A pain which no one can ever imagine.

A pain that even death won’t cure.

A pain which will follow behind you forever.

You can never again run away from this pain.

The more you run, the faster this pain chases you.

Running is not the solution to it, Death alone cant help much, Facing to it will turn you mad, Madness will bring you nowhere.

You try to avoid speaking about the topic.

You tell yourself time will heal all things.

You try to convince yourself you don’t love her anymore.

Your find all the reasons you can have to undone the love you had for her.

But there is a force stopping you. Defeating all the things you have done to try to forget the person, to forget the feelings you once had for that person.

It’s an invisible force.

A strong force.

The strongest force which can make you and break you instantaneously.

The Power Of Love.
The love you had for her.

Seeing that love had defeated you once again causes the heart to bleed, the tears to flow. It is only when these tears that you had been suppressing for so long flows out from you eyes can you feel a form of relieve. You finally let out your feelings. All the suppression of feelings come blasting its way out of you through these tears.

Make good use of these tears. Treasure them. They don’t come much too often. You may not be able to cry anymore in the future. You are too numb to cry anymore. Hopefully you will feel much better after tearing...

How nice it will be to cry... Sadly, crying seems to be an impossible task for the writer of this blog entry. Tears are at the back of the eyes... Crying may seem to be the easiest task on earth, yet the hardest for some, impossible for one.

Alas..

posted by Ivan Ee @ 2:12 PM